Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Randomize
