My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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