No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
im calling her cock vulture from now on
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
