Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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