THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The feeling are messing with the penis
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
