forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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