to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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