How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Let's get the cat blown out
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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