she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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