I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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