just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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