Joe is yelling at the trees again.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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