Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
