loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
