why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
