So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
