When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
