I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My bed smells like the plague
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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