She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
