My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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