Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Sober January is a disaster.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
