is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
