Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
