This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
