Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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