First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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