If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
