Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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