Just mADE A PArabola og urine
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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