I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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