Dual....:-)
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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