dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
