He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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