His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
