need another drink. this is the easiest way
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
