i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
