i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
