that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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