This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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