I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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