porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
