he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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