Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
