I puked a lego.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
