I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
