Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This house was built for laser tag.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
