Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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