we have officially lost it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
