In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
