Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
