I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
